Crashworthiness: Tried, Tested and Sure

 [krash-wur-thee-nis] capable of withstanding the effects of a crash; the ability of a car or other vehicle to withstand a collision or crash with minimal bodily injury to its occupants.

Being married to a NASCAR fan, I understand that the most successful race cars are those that are built with the CRASH in mind: and are built to withstand the ultimate crash. Things are set in place: special bars, airbags, anti-fire, special provisions for roll-overs, special driving gear and clothing, that will help the car crash and yet still have the driver survive.

Our marriages and families need to withstand storms and threats and "crashes" like never before. How "crashworthy" is YOUR marriage, and YOUR family? What have you done to PREPARE yourselves for the threats and crashes?

Our last family vacation had the normal, fun-loving, "floating down the lazy river" type moments: we played golf, tennis, and did extreme workouts together. We held daily challenging Bible studies led by each couple, and finished each night with dinner prepared and served by each couple. We played cards, talked, shopped, shared laughter, even visited the "what dreams are made of" Magic Kingdom...

But this family vacation, with all our newlyweds, one soon-to-be-married and one dating couple, had one different, interesting, and SEEMINGLY horrible difference: there was a multiple day THREAT to our unity that showed itself in the form of some ugly interactions and attitudes. TRIED... we made the most of every opportunity, trying to avert the problems, but God had a different idea through the TESTING...

This vacation became the BEST VACATION EVER because it demonstrated our family's "crashworthiness".

"Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was FOUNDED UPON A ROCK. And every one that hearth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it." (Matthew 7.24-27)

SURE... we made some "rules of the ring" in the form of action items (see below) on ways to handle conflict resolution. We realized:

*Unity and a solidly closely-knit family like ours, so intimately involved in each others' lives, is worth fighting for and can NOT be taken for granted!

*We are POWERFUL together and ALL things good are only good when TESTED and SURE.

*We realize more than ever the things that could threaten our bond, and have joined together to take action against those things and not allow them in our lives.

Here is our study to encourage others:

Fighting for Our Family

1. Our Destiny is our Greatest Challenge

2. No One is Right – We must fight for Peace

We have “A culture of Quitters”

2 Tim 3:1-5

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of

themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents,

ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal,

not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers

of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power.

3. Regard Others as More Important than Ourselves

MT 20:28

Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a

ransom for many.”

4. Guard Against Bitterness & Grudges

Eph 4:3

Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together

with peace.

Matthew 5:23-24

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother

has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be

reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Col 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

MT 6:14

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive

you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Jesus – Last 30 hours

• Arrested

• Taken before court – for crimes he didn’t commit

• Betrayed by his friends

• Beaten beyond recognition

• Carried a cross to the place of his death

• Slammed spikes into his hands

Yet he said…

“Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing…”

1. Who do you need to forgive?

2. Whom do you need to ask forgiveness from?

5. Love Deeply

1Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

PS 103:12

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Action Items ("Rules of the Ring")

• Address the “bricks” of offense before they turn into a wall

• Go directly to the offender and don’t gossip

• Stick to the issue at hand

• Seek first to understand before you are understood. Even a fool is thought to be

wise if he keeps his mouth shut. (Proverbs) – Guard our reactions to offense

• Love Deeply, Forgive and Forget

• Stick to the issue at hand (Don’t attack the Character attack the issue)

• Avoid “always and never”

• Leave the other person ‘a way back in’

• Be able to say what the person said back to them

• Don’t leave the issue resolution

**127,672 interactions within the Budzinski family***

Challenge: Make "rules of the ring" or "action items" to take during times of testing and disagreement. Make sure your marriage and family is "crashworthy". Be sure the threats, challenges and problems will come: make SURE your marriage and family are "capable of withstanding the effects"!