Financial Communications

Today's financial seminar was amazing.  One of the constant reminders each of the amazing speakers went back to is communicating.  One thing that was difficult for my husband and I at first was just that:  communicating about something we felt differently about.  I thought we should put some purchases higher on the importance list in our budget; Gary thought otherwise.  Although it was sometimes easier NOT to communicate, we plundered through and kept at it til we got great at it by sheer repetition!  It helped that I respect and honor my husband's lead as the final decision -- if I felt I deserved an "equal" vote we would have NEVER been able to get through some of our impasses!

Keep discussing your finances and your financial decisions.  Share your heart, dreams and visions for your finances.  Share your plans to get there.  Share your priority list.  Over and over.  Daily! 

Challenge:  Make it a point to discuss your financial situation today, and then go over the discussion regularly.  Make a plan together to achieve financial freedom -- that point when you are DEBT FREE!

Getting Out of a Rut

Isaac Newton's first law of motion states: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.

When you and your spouse get into a rut, you need to do something differently.  One of you needs to break into the routine to change things.  

It is interesting that when one person steps out to be extra thoughtful or kind, it does set in motion an impetus for the other person to behave in kind.

Many times when I don't feel like going out of my way for my husband, I will do so inspired even by the sheer discipline of getting my "body under subjection," and inevitably my husband reciprocates and then we just keep the ball rolling!

Challenge:  Are you ready to lift the bar higher than the mundane routine??!!  Go out of your way to do some amazingly wonderful things for your spouse.  Be consistent and you may inspire each other to keep the ball rolling!

Changes

One fact that never changes is that everything changes.  We all change from day to day.  And we're intended to shine brighter and clearer and go from glory to glory...

Proverbs 4:18 - But the path of the [uncompromisingly] just and righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines more and more (brighter and clearer) until [it reaches its full strength and glory in] the perfect day [to be prepared].

2Corinthians 3:18 And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [Who is] the Spirit.

Give your spouse a chance to be able to change.  Let them learn and grow.  Encourage the growth to be good.  Examine your own life and be sure that the changes that you are going through are truly to shine brighter and clearer and go from glory to glory...

Challenge:  Make sure you fill your life with the Spirit and power of God and with the right things that will cause you to go from glory to glory as the Lord intended.  Encourage your spouse to really get better all the time.  Just think of the possibilities if you both keep working on growing forward with the Lord!

Being Thankful

So many times, we get our eyes off the many many things we have and get our eyes or minds on the one thing or few things we don't have.  Many people have the uncanny ability of focusing on the things they wish their spouses were instead of the many things their spouses already are.   Like Eve in the Garden of Eden, we lose the appreciation for all the things we have and instead start to feel gypped.

This is so unfair to yourself and to your spouse.  By keeping your eyes on something you don't have, you fail to appreciate all the wonderful things you have.  Also, your spouse can't be appreciated by you, because your eyes are set on only a certain thing or expectation you have.

Challenge:  Each and every day look at all the things your spouse is and give thanks for each and every thing on that list.   Forget about the things your spouse isn't; be grateful for everything he/she is.

We Owe, We Owe, It's Off to Work We Go!

I am so grateful that my husband and I both hate being in debt.   This doesn't mean that we never were in debt, only that we hated going against the Scriptural admonitions that borrowers serve the lender (Prov 22.7), we were to owe no man any thing but to love one another (Romans 13.8), and that He desired us to be content with little (1 Tim 6.8), letting our moderation be known to all (Phil 4.5).   

When we borrowed money for each house, we made sure our monthly payments didn't strap us. We moved seven times, each time paying our house off, and then moving up.  As soon as we signed mortage papers, we lived simply and hung little signs in our closets with $500, $100, $50, $10, and $5 to equal the amount we owed the bank, and we would keep prepaying our principal and pulling the amounts off the wall until we were paid off.  

This methodology seems lost today.  People seem to not even care that they owe so much money.  Too many people are not interested in paying off their loans right away.  I am shocked at people taking trips and spending money on things they don't need and yet they owe hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars in loans.  I have spoken to people who are deluded into believing that they are so far into debt they might as well just keep spending money because they'll never pay off their loans anyways!  

Live modestly and free of debts.  That is God's best for you.  If you are in debt, stop spending money on anything that is not a necessity, sell things you can get rid of, even work an extra job if possible, until your debts are paid off.  Then you are free.

“Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you norgive you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake norlet [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]”  (Heb 13:5 AMP)

“...the borrower is servant to the lender.”  (Prov 22:7 AMP)

Challenge:  Have a heart and will and disciplined living to pay off all your loans and live debt free as God intended you to live.  Brainstorm with your spouse and agree on ways to get out of debt.  

Click here to watch this funny and challenging video with Steve Martin:  "Don't Buy Stuff"

Deflating Someone's Ego

I realized quickly that my husband does a lot of "guy things" that irritate me.  Some of them, which we won't mention are:

*Jostling around with the kids when we're standing waiting for our table at a restaurant, saying goodbye to people (even dignitaries).

*Does his email on his blackberry while we're on a date.

*Doesn't hear when I ask a question.

*Refuses to ask for directions.

*Talks and asks questions about a movie after you're a half hour into it.

*Asking me to drive and then controls my every movement.

*Talks about inappropriate baby stuff sometimes.

*Gets crazy excited when goofing off with the guys.

Well, I decided a long time ago that I was getting the entire package and I refuse to pick my man apart.  I refuse to take his sometimes annoying and goofy fun and deflate his ego one "pin" at a time.  I picture many husbands as helium balloons on the rise, and then their foolish wives pick pins in their personality, joy, and energy, and sadly, as the air and fun oozes out of their man, and they keep trying to recreate them into the image of what they think they should be, they are left with a crumpled up helium ball all crumpled on the floor.  Then they really complain that he isn't the guy they fell in love with!

Challenge:  Don't pick apart your husband (or WIFE!) one "pin" at a time and deflate their personality, joy, and energy!  Let your man exercise his right to be a guy and make sure your guy knows you're doing that on purpose and you want him to let you exercise your rights and personalities as a woman.  You will find that if you stop trying to change your spouse you will actually enjoy them more!

“But as the Chest of GOD came into the City of David, Michal, Saul’s daughter, happened to be looking out a window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before GOD, her heart filled with scorn. ...Then everyone went home. David returned home to bless his family. Michal, Saul’s daughter, [his wife] came out to greet him: “How wonderfully the king has distinguished himself today—exposing himself to the eyes of the servants’ maids like some burlesque street dancer!” David replied to Michal, “In GOD’S presence I’ll dance all I want! He chose me over your father and the rest of our family and made me prince over GOD’S people, over Israel. Oh yes, I’ll dance to GOD’S glory —more recklessly even than this. And as far as I’m concerned . . . I’ll gladly look like a fool . . . but among these maids you’re so worried about, I’ll be honored no end.” Michal, Saul’s daughter, was barren the rest of her life.”  (2Sam 6:16-23 MESSAGE)

The Only November 24, 2008 EVER

It is sometimes sobering to think that this day, November 24, 2008, will be the only November 24, 2008 we will ever have in our lives.  What we choose to do with this day is up to us.  I refuse to take this "present" and drag it through the mud.  I refuse to waste this "present," and I refuse to make this one November 24, 2008 a day I willfully ruin because of bad choices.

This "present," this day, is given to me by the Lord as a gift.  I choose to make it a day where I am the best I can be, regardless of negative or positive circumstances.  I purpose to bless others that come in contact with me.  I purpose to make this day one where I purposefully worked to make my spouse's life better because I'm in it.  

If I blow it, I can never re-live this day again.  I purpose to live each day wisely, so I have no regrets.

“So teach us to number our days, that we may get us a heart of wisdom.” (Psa 90:12 AMP)

Challenge:  Live this day as if it were a day to represent all you ever wanted to be as a wife or husband.  Live this day as the "present" it was given you to be.  Make it count for something positive and amazing.  Make others' lives better because they had you cross their paths.  Keep this day special on purpose by being as amazing as you can be!