Words Without Deeds: The Vice of MARRIAGE

On my Bible Study Blog today I wrote about Words Without Deeds: The Vice of RELIGION. But even as I wrote it I was thinking of how much a vice words without deeds is to our marriages.

Over years of marriage counseling, I hear "my wife doesn't respect me" from men. Over and over they tell how their wives subjugate their leadership, demean their authority, and speak to them disrespectfully. Upon closer examination though, the husband has done little to exemplify traits and characteristics of a leader. NOT that this reason is a LICENSE for wives to disrespect husbands in the roles (Sarah was blessed by God because she obeyed Abrahm even to the point of telling rulers that she was his sister!). However, I want to see men who RISE UP and lead:

1. Leaders don't just say whatever they feel like saying. Even as I am listening to my husband on a world-wide conference call, I can ASSURE you that he is not just blurting out whatever comes to his mind. There is certain information that he KNOWS and FEELS about some of his employees that he canNOT speak out. He is looking for the BEST performance of the team; and consequently, he has to keep his words in check. He has to THINK before he SPEAKS to be sure that once said, his words do not come back at him displaying how he undermined the work for the company good.

2. Leaders are EXAMPLES of spiritual strength and character. Men need to demonstrate to their wives, in DEEDS so when the words come forth they are backed up by deeds. Leaders should be able to say, "Look at how I act when I am PRESSED beyond measure..." "Look at how I don't give in to immaturity when the discussions get tough..."

3. Leaders aren't selfish... they are empowered and trusted to lead a TEAM... in the case of marriages, the marriage. Husbands as leaders are expected to handle each situation and consider the needs of their wives, even considering those needs before their own.

In the years of marriage counseling, I have also heard women complain that the husband doesn't cherish her or love her. In the same way, wives have a role in the marriage similar to the role of the CHURCH as Christ's BRIDE:

1. By the WAY SHE LIVES she should be able to "win over" her husband's heart. Her godly behavior should set the tone for the marriage, and should shine even brighter in tough times.

2. She should consider her husband's wishes and her life should show that she WANTS her husband to "look good" to others. The Proverbs 31 woman's husband "is known in the gates" -- probably by the wife's lifting him UP in front of others and building on the GOOD THINGS he is instead of breaking him apart and being the "foolish woman" that destroys her own marriage with her words and deeds. Many a foolish woman blurts out everything bad about her husband to her family and friends, and then wonders why her family and friends can't stand her husband and undermines the success of their marriage. A wise woman looks at what SHE can do to make the marriage better, and takes responsibility for being the heart of the home.

3. She should trust her husband as the leader of her home, and realize the Lord has specifically anointed him with insights on how to make their lives better.

Yup, words without deeds is the VICE of marriage AND religion. I am SO SICK of seeing SO MANY people carry the word "Christian" yet look very little like Christ. Time to SHOW FORTH what we believe by our ACTIONS.

Challenge: SHOW your spouse your commitment to them and to your marriage by how you ACT and TALK. LET only communication come from your mouth that will BUILD up and EDIFY each other and your relationship. Remember, our commitments will be tested in the fires... and THAT is where the dross needs to be removed so that the TRUE GOLD will shine forth as a witness FIRST to each other and THEN to the world that Christ is alive and well in our SUPERnatural marriages!