Think of someone in your life who love you the most: they usually think the best of you. You WANT to be around them! Now think of someone who is very critical of you or you know they just don’t like you. You try to avoid them at all costs! Without even realizing it, if we are someone who delights in our mate and who thinks the best of them, they will WANT to be around us more! If we are critical, they will avoid us! Same works true with your children!
If you really love someone, you are interested in the things he is interested in. Nancy Reagan said, “I was, I suppose, a woman of the old school: If you wanted to make your life with a man, you took on whatever his interests were and they became your interests too.” Old school or not, the principle rings true. The happiest married couples are the ones who are genuinely interested in what the other person does.
Dana Reeve, an actress, was a great example. She married a famous movie star, and was a movie star herself. She was a constant companion of Christopher Reeves (superman). After her husband became a quadriplegic, Dana told Chris: “I still love you no matter what. You are still you,” and she became her chief supporter during his 9-1/2 year ordeal and his work for a cure for spinal cord injuries. She then became chairwoman of the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation, which funded research on paralysis, until she died of lung cancer. She never returned to her own acting, having taken on what was important to her husband.
"I miss his companionship," said Reeve's widow, who wore his wedding band around her neck. "I would really like him here. It's very disorienting to be one person instead of this team we always were."
Nancy Reagan: When they first got married… “I had of course no idea what the future would hold for us. I only knew that I loved Ronald Reagan, and being his wife was then, as it is today, the most important thing in the world for me.”
“In the climate of today, I think it would be good for all of us to focus on the positive, the true, the things that really last, on character, humor, commitment, and love, and on the happy memories of a wonderful man and his life.”
“We were parents now – but we were also careful to never forget our marriage. We were always vigilant to not be ‘careless,’ as Ronnie put it in one letter, “with the treasure that is ours – namely what we are to each other.”
Do you realize the TREASURE you have in your spouse? Do you appreciate the companionship? Do you think the best of your mate and admire them, magnetizing your attraction to them as well as how attractive they appeal to you?
Challenge: Develop the companionship you have with your spouse. Do a few errands together this week: even if its picking up the dry cleaning! Look for ways they are a TREASURE to you and vocalize it! Make being a husband or wife the most important thing in the world to you. And STOP CRITICIZING your spouse -- even if you're just critical in your spirit -- stop! Start appreciating each and every thing your spouse is to you: and watch how much more your time together means!
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