Saturday, October 11, 2008

More tools: Screwdriver, Hammer & Drill!

A few more necessary "tools" to use in your marriage and pass on to your children!

Screwdriver and variety of screws. When two items are fastened together, sometimes there’s some heart-wrenching intrusions that bind you together! Look at some of the things you have felt intruded into your life, and see how it can work to bind you more securely to your husband. How do you react to intrusions? Do you allow things to draw you closer or do you isolate yourself? I’ve seen both… Marriage’s best intention is to divide the pain and multiply the joys! Are you making it happen?

Hammer and variety of nails. Two items don’t just STICK together – they need something POUNDED INTO EACH OF THEM TO CONNECT THEM! (ouch!) someone asked me “how do you deal with your husband…” Well, I have two choices: a good attitude or a bad attitude. One thing about nails: they can take a few bad hits and still be straightened out! Are you about to take a few hard hits and still function?! My kids have been there through it all and have seen me and my husband both “take the hits,” stay strong through it all and keep coming back again and again purposing to enjoy each other. It’s NOT all about YOU or just what is happening to YOU. Let up a little on each other!

Drill. The Bible tells us that “as iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Prov 27.17). A drill gets rid of things standing in the way for fasteners to grip items together. There are a lot of things that need to “get out of the way” for you and your husband to be closer. What is standing in the way of your closeness? Is it some old habits that you need to get rid of? Some insecurities? Some areas you need to work on, for example, enjoying your husband and encouraging him and complementing him? What habits do you need to leave behind?

We need to change to accommodate different seasons in our lives and with our mates. Be willing to rid yourself of things that are standing in the way of your unity. Give it up, let it go, lay it down, forget about it! Bring on the drill! Let your kids see that “having my own way is not as important as being with or getting along with your Dad.” It is good for US and good for THEM and good for our mates. Win/win/win

Also, many times when a drill is used, there needs to be preparation for where the cuts are (e.g. tape the edges etc.) WHAT preparation are you making to prepare for he things that might CUT into your marriage: Are you making time for “date nights”? Do you read marriage help books, written by people with successful marriages? Are you devoting time to your marriage? Have you eliminated sarcasm from your marriage: do you have good manners? Are you kind? Do you know what each other’s goals and frustrations are? Are you understanding and supportive of what the other person is going through?  

Challenge:  Purposefully multiply your joys and divide your sorrows with your spouse this week:  avoid isolating yourself and insulating yourself by not involving your spouse...  Let these things "fasten" you together!   Be strong and "take a few hits" and don't let it faze you.  Get rid of things standing in the way of you and your spouse being closer!  Try to see how many times you don't need to get your own way this week!  Strengthen your marriage by doing a marriage devotional together, making a date night each week (even if it's short!), or mentoring or being mentored by another couple every few weeks!  

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