Sunday, October 12, 2008

More tools: Tape, Wrench, Safety Gear!

Tape. Many builders have notes everywhere. You see post-it notes of things they need to purchase, check, and do. POST A NOTE. One couple I was counseling at one time put notes of what they could do for each other on the wall as they rebuilt their broken marriage. I know many women who put up little notes of reminders on how to be better wives. One friend of mine actually illustrated these posts and printed off a few to work on... Write things you’re working on down; Scriptures; reminders. (Do everything in love hung on my wall until I "got" it!~) Areas you are working on, etc.

Wrench – “Natural” tendencies need to be tightened up when they first start “leaking”! Maybe it leaks out in “he got what he deserved…” But where is mercy & grace? Where are the “leaks” that could result in a torrential and ruinous flood if not attended to? Words, words, words…. They leak out without noticing the damage for awhile, and all of a sudden you have a major warp! BE mature!   EXPECT A LOT from yourself, and stop making excuses! You are a mature adult, CAPABLE of handling adversity and modeling victory and joy and control to your children… are YOU expecting THEM to handle problems without blowing up and YOU aren’t even able to handle little problems? I always tell my children that THEY ARE EQUIPPED for EVERY GOOD WORK…. And so ARE YOU!   You're tired, have a cold, didn't get your own way… SO WHAT – don’t punish everyone else for it!  LIFT THE BAR!!!

Safety gear (goggles/gloves/helmet). Make sure you wear your “safety gear”. Working on a marriage is HARD WORK. You run MANY RISKS. You WILL GET HURT. Psalm 15.4 tells about the man who lives in God’s holy hill: he “swears to his own hurt and changes NOT”. When you are hurt, DON’T CHANGE who you are! don’t change your commitment! Keep going! Keep your safety gear on! Remember that “in the presence of the LORD is fullness of joy!” (Ps 16.11) Strength and gladness are found in His presence! (1 Chron 16.27) Remember that GOD is the One Who supplies your needs according to HIS riches! (Phil 4.19) Remember to encourage YOURSELF in the Lord as David did! (1 Sam 30.6)

Just as a good buiolder knows that there are many things that can hurt him as he builds and builds safely, how much more do we have to protect ourselves from harm as a build our marriages. DON”T SET YOURSELF UP TO FAIL. Many happy marriages fall because one person in the marriage thinks they are strong enough to hang around the opposite sex, get on the internet for “fun” or put themselves in various situations that could definitely bring failure. I can never understand why people are so blind when they set themselves up . . . first thing I hear they are a little dissatisfied, the next thing I know they start having a drink or two, and before you know it, they’re caught up in some circumstances they can’t get out of! Put up barriers! Get a few friends if you don’t feel there’s anyone to listen to you! Take a little time out when you feel sorry for yourself! Keep that safety gear on!

Challenge:  POST things you need to work on to make your marriage better.  POST reminders of what you can do to make a better relationship!  Assess where your "leaky" areas are (esp. with your words), and stop making excuses and live the life you know how to live the best you can live it -- be a mature adult!  Be hurt, and deal with it, move on, and even get stronger from it!  Encourage yourself in the Lord, and don't set yourself up to fail!

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